tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22747819576174304282024-03-05T18:19:34.244+03:00Love FoolThe girl who can't resist even though she keeps getting hurtLove foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-6204374695467005382009-06-15T13:40:00.004+03:002009-06-15T15:49:18.167+03:00Part 5 ----- Some things are best left forgotten<strong>Warning: This post is explicit (meaning its going to contain sex and that type of stuff) so don't say I didn't warn you!!!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br />'Joonyyy please, just for 10 minutes, I need to see you I miss you' 3bdullah was begging her. When he said things like that, she just melted. She couldn't resist anything he asked. Still she hesitated, she knew that it was wrong, but she trusted him.<br /><br />'Okay, meet me at the jame3ya in an hour'<br /><br />Lulu quickly brushed through her already straightened hair and picked out a simple white knee length dress. She applied some light lipgloss and mascara, she rushed out the house with her phone in her hand. It took her 10 minutes to reach the jame3ya and she sat in her car, fidgeting nervously. She wasn't sure what to do, her heart was beating rapidly because she had never done anything like this before.<br /><br />*Beep*<br /><br />'Baby I'm next to you, come in my car.'<br /><br /><br />Lulu turned off the engine and taking a deep breath she opened the door and saw her 3boudy, she looked around nervously but finally got into his car. She was too embarassed to look at his face and just decided to look at her gold gladiator shoes and bite her thumb. She could feel him staring at her but he just sighed and started the car.<br /><br />While they started to drive around ainlessly she finally got up the courage to look at his face, he smiled and immediately she felt relaxed. His hand was lying there near her, she reached for it and fited her hand into his. He started stroking the back of her hand and this made her shiver. Lulu couldn't imagine feeling this way ever again or with anyone else, she didn't feel that overwhelming guilt of being alone in a car with a guy anymore. It felt right at that moment, and thats all that mattered to her.<br /><br />They just drove around in silence until he parked his car in a remote area and turned to face her. Slowly he raised his hands to her face and closed the space in between them. Lulu held her breath as she saw him coming closer and she closed her eyes. Slowly she felt his lips touch hers, it was a soft gentle kiss and she responded the same way. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck and she pulled herself closer. Slowly they kissed until she loosened her grip and backed away. She was out of breath but she had never felt happier. She finally opened her eyes to see him smiling. She leaned foward and pecked his lips then sat back against the seat, leaning on the window she sighed. He started the car again, keeping her hand in his the whole time.<br /><br />3bdullah dropped Lulu a little outside the jame3ya so she had to walk back to her car. He wanted to follow her home to make sure she got there safe but he was already late to '3ada at his grandparents house, so he left in a hurry. As she was walking back to her car, suddenly a tinted black jeep pulled up beside her. The guy got out of the car and started to push her in. She barely undertstood what was happening and started to scream until he covered her mouth with his hand. Lulu felt like she was suffocating and tried fighting but it was useless, he was just too strong for her. He pushed her into the car and locked the doors. There was another man in the backseat holding her making sure that she couldn't get away or even scream for help. Lulu was terrified she didn't know what was happening. She just struggled with the man holding her until he started to hold her tighter which hurt her. The tears were running down her face and she just stayed limp and prayed and prayed for someone to help her. <br /><br /><br />Lulu didn't know where they were going she couldn't see outside. Inside her head she just kept praying for God to help her, she promised that she would never meet with 3bullah secretly again. She was so scared, this would be her punishment for lying to her parents and betraying her religion? Lulu knew she didn't deserve anything as bad as what she feared was going to happen to her. The car jerked to a stop and they were in the middle of nowhere with a tent flapping in the wind. Roughly the two men pushed her into the tent. She started to scream again, hoping that anyone would hear her but it was useless. They made her lie down on her back and Lulu knew what was about to happen now but couldn't do anything to stop it.<br /><br />The man who sat on top of her was wearing a blue polo with black shorts, she couldn't look at his face as he roughly lifted up her dress and pulled her underwear down. She cried as he unzipped his pants, they were both laughing at her pain and laughing cruelly. He began to enter her and she cried out, it was hurting her and the more she begged for him to stop, the harder he pushed. Again and again he thurst into her, each thrust brought another wave of pain. He was exploring her body, reaching under her bra and grabbing her breasts. When she tried to push him away it only made him angry and he slapped her and pushed into her harder. He continued to beat her until she just gave up and closed her eyes hoping it would be over soon. <br /><br />Suddenly a weight felt like it had been taken off of her and she was about to open her eyes until a heavier body replaced the weight. She could already feel his excitment, he was hard against her body and his lips found his way to hers. She felt disgusted, she could smell the cigarette on his breath and he forced her lips open, his tounge exploring the inside of her mouth. Lulu wanted to throw up she wanted to scream but she felt suffocated. Suddenly he entered her as well, he was even rougher pushing harder and harder against her. He began moaning until she felt something hot and sticky burst out of him. This more than anything frightened her, she didn't know what had just happened why this time felt strange. The man rolled off of her and let out a satisfied sigh. <br /><br />They roughly picked her up and she felt so dizzy that she nearly fell, her dress was soaked with her own blood. The men started to whisper and one of them picked her up gently from under the legs and she leaned her head against his chest. This was the first sign of any compassion she recieved. Lulu was too tired to fight them any longer, her whole body was aching. Soon they were back at the jame3ya and she barely made it to her car, she laid in the backseat and cried herself to sleep. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />That was the condition her mother found her in a few hours later, she can still remember her mother's shocked face, the tears in her eyes. It happened nearly 3 months ago but it felt like just yesterday to her, she cried again. It had scarred her and she was afraid she would never heal. Lulu still loved 3bdullah with all her heart and never blamed him for what had happened, it had been the happiest day of her life the time she had spent with him. But the rest had just overwhelmed her. She couldn't tell him, she was so ashamed and afraid he wouldn't accept her after what had happened. She still remembered the way he smelt and how it felt when he had touched her and kissed her. So Lulu just decided to push her 3boudy away and figure out what was going to become of her. All she knew is now she had to go on living, not for herself but for the baby that she did not want but would never give up.</strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-40933078511890787872009-06-09T20:03:00.003+03:002009-07-22T16:01:08.800+03:00Part 4 ----- Dream as you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today<strong><br /><br />'I love you' he whispered over the phone, his voice low. She immediately stopped smiling and twisting her hair, sitting straight up in bed. She started chewing her thumb, Lulu always did that when she was nervous. She wasn't sure how to respond, she liked him of course. But did she <em>love</em> him? He was nicer than any of the other guys she had ever been with. Though she had only been with 3, none of them had worked out. But 3boud.. he was different. He made her feel like she was the most special person on earth.<br /><br />He was still on the phone, she could feel him holding his breath waiting for a reply.<br />'I- uh- 3boudy...' was all she managed to stutter out. They had known eachother for more than 2 years, it had only turned into something more a few months ago.<br /><br />'7abeebty its okay, you don't have to say it back I just wanted you to know how I feel' he said it so softly, so sweetly. It gave her butterflies and made her blush.<br /><br />'Joony bss 5ala9 don't worry, now stop biting at your thumb, walla a7is one day your going to bite it all off' his tone had gone back to teasing just like before, the laughter was clear in his voice. Lulu immediately removed her thumb from her mouth.<br /><br />'How did you know I was biting my thumb!' <br /><br />'Because I made you nervous' his voice was very smug and he knew it. When she remained silent he continued in his teasing voice.<br /><br />'I know you bite your thumb when your nervous, when your shocked your big beautiful eyes go all wide mashalla. When your confused you scrunch your nose up and squint you eyes. When your trying to be cute you start batting your eyes and play with your hair. When you find something really funny, the way you throw your head back and smile and giggle so innoncently. I know all these things about you joony thats how I know you were biting your thumb.' <br /><br />There was only silence from her for another minute while she thought it over. <br /><br />'I love you too' she stated clearly and without any doubts. What he had just said just proved it to her. She was not going to find anyone better, anyone who loved her more or anyone who so carefully watched she did. She loved him the only way she knew how, with her whole heart. She never did the 'I love yous' in any of her other relationships, there was no point. They are all flings out of curiousity. 3boud was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she knew it now for sure.<br /><br />'So thats what it takes to make you love me huh? Note everything you do and recite it back to you?' His voice was jokingly but she could sense the excitment underneath it.<br /><br />'Yeah it is, you should start writing a whole book on what I do and I'm yours forever' <br /><br />'A7ibich joony'<br /><br />'Amout feek 3boudy' <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Lulu woke up with her words still ringing in her head and 3boud's voice. That was over 4 months ago. It was all just a dream of her memories, memories that just made her cry all over again. She missed her 3boud, she felt so lost without him. <br /><br />Lulu reached for her phone and dialled his number. He picked up immediately and was silent. Lulu just cried and cried, listening to him breathing. He sighed deeply.<br /><br />'Lulu you can't keep doing this okay? First you disappear for 3 months oo now you just call and cry? Next time don't call unless your actually willing to talk.' He snapped and the next thing she heard was the dial tone. She didn't blame him, he was so confused by all of this and he just wanted to help her. He was the only one who didn't stop calling after all the silence. Everyday he called once, the usual time he would call when he wanted to say goodnight.<br /><br />Lulu walked to her mirror and lifted her shirt up, she turned sideways and experimented sucking her stomach in. There was definately a hint of a baby bump, there was no denying it. Gently, she poked her stomach, wondering if the baby could feel that. Putting her shirt back down she just sat on the floor cross-legged, thinking of what she could do. She had already thought about it, she hadn't discussed her plans with her mother. Lulu could not give up this baby, no matter the way it was concieved she could not do anything to something inside of her with a heartbeat. <br /><br />Her mother walked in suddenly with tickets in her hand. Passports in the other hand. She waved them at Lulu, who just stared at her confused.<br /><br />'Lulu 7abeebty, your father and I talked about your situation. We can't let you go through with this. We're going to america next week, where you can get rid of the... thing.' She spoked decisively with a firm edge, she was usually a gentle woman. <br /><br />Lulu just stared at her, she could not believe her mother would say such things. The woman who raised her to always follow what she believed in? When she called her baby a thing.. how dare she call it a thing? Lulu got up suddenly furious.<br /><br />'LA2!! I WON'T GO WITH YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MY BABY!! MY BABY IS NOT A THING!!!' She was so angry only an inch away from her mother, her hands were waving all over the place. <br /><br />'LUJAYN! BSS 3AIB YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THIS! YOU HAVE NO JOB, YOUR STILL IN UNIVERSITY! HOW WOULD YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF?? YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY NOW! WHO WOULD WANT TO MARRY YOU THEN? NO ONE WOULD WANT A SINGLE MOTHER WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PROPER FUTURE' her mother was screaming in her face, Lulu had never seen her mother so angry. <br /><br />'I've made up my mind. I will not do anything to this baby.' Lulu stood with her arms crossed, when suddenly her mother slapped her across the face. It was a strong, forceful slap and it stung Lulu's face. The blood went rushing to her cheek and she gasped. Her mother stormed out the room and slammed the door. Her mother had never hit her before. <br /><br />Sinking down to the floor, she lay down exhausted. She had no one on her side and now she was to be an outcast from her own family. Slowly her eyes began to shut and she replayed the memory again, how this all happened...<br /><br /></strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-50797691710711702752009-06-08T17:19:00.001+03:002009-06-08T17:23:48.329+03:00So heres the thing...Ellooo Elloooo all *innoncent face*<br /><br />I know I've been a very bad blogger oo I've just started! Bss after starting the first few parts i realised it wasn't the smartest move to start right before my exams thats why I've been away. Bss i finished everything now and typing up the next part fa it will posted bil lail inshalla<br /><br />Love you alll<br /><br /><br /><br />Lovefool xxLove foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-75650850234894629462009-04-15T22:21:00.003+03:002009-04-15T23:09:47.221+03:00Part 3----- The plus sign<strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The next week Lulu sat down on the bed waiting for her mother to get back from the pharmacy. She wrapped her arms around her knees, trapping them and then rested her chin on it. She thought hard and deeply about what this could mean and what would happen if her suspicions were right.<br /><br />Turning around to lay down on her bed, Lulu caught a glimpse of herself in her mirror. Her Betty Boop pyjamas were worn and she hadn't washed her hair for over a week it looked a mess and so greasy. Her eyes were puffy but she had become used to that style by now. She was a mess, there was no doubt of that. Inside and out Lulu looked like she was going through hell and anyone who knew her would be shocked at her appearance now. Laying back on the bed Lulu fought off the naseau she was feeling, she was going to wait until her mother came back and then she could pretend it was all a bad dream.<br /><br />Shutting her eyes tight Lulu had dug her nails into the palm of her hand. The cause of this, the night of her rape the images were flashing inside her head no matter how hard she tried to block it out. It had scarred her so deeply and she still cried from fear most nights. She was scared of what was going to happen next, her future was so uncertain. She had so many dreams and hopes for the future but now it may never come true. That scared her, being uncertain not knowing what would happen next and which way she was going to go.<br /><br />As her mother entered the room holding the pharmacy plastic bag delicately, Lulu grew even more frightened. Quickly taking out the box she rushed into the bathroom, to get this over with, praying with all her heart that it wasn't true. Wasn't everything she had been through already enough to last her a lifetime?<br /><br />As she walked slowly in her room holding the stick her mother reached out to hold her, but Lulu pulled back. No words were spoken and each of them stared at the clock the gentle tick-tick-tick of the handle as it moved foward. The longest 2 minutes of her life and each second Lulu could feel her heart pound harder and harder, she swallowed the big lump caught in her throat that wouldn't go away. Slowly she turned over the stick with her shakey hands.<br /><br /><br /><br />Slowly she watched the two lines appearing, a small pink plus sign. It was positive, She was carrying the child of the man she never knew. A man she only knew that had taken away her future, destroyed her life and now left her a reminder forever. Lulu was unmarried, she had been viciously raped and was now pregnant. <br /><br />Holding the positive test she felt her knees weaken and the images around her start to blur, her mother's pale face and her mouth forming words she could not hear. The loudest buzzing had filled her ears and Lulu collapsed to the floor before the world went black.<br /><br /><br /></strong><br /> --------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Love;** thank uu soo much for commenting on my posts wallah u dont know how much it means to me to know at least one person is enjoying what i write thank uu 7ayatii!<br /><br /><br />Madrii if the posts are okay or should i make them longer? Bss that would mean not everyday ;p.. please i need opnions!Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-28640635186411397292009-04-15T01:50:00.005+03:002009-04-15T02:38:56.535+03:00Part 2----- (2 months, 2 weeks and 3 days)<strong><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />'She' was Lujayn, mostly she went by Lulu and for one special person she was joony.<br /><br />For nearly 2 months she did not move from her bed, it was her safe haven. Slowly Lulu pushed everyone away, the calls stopped, eventually no one wanted to know anymore. The people who cared most about her had stopped wondering.. it had been 2 months of silence from her. <br /><br />Lulu was not one of those drop dead gorgeous girls that had a million friends and always something to do. She was shy, she only kept around her a close circle of friends that she could trust. She was one of those innoncent faces that was sweet, that you wanted to know and to see her adorable smile.<br /><br />She peeked at the clock telling her it was 5am, Lulu considered getting out of bed until she thought 'what would be the point?' She had no one anymore and it hurt her to be this lonely but she knew that she couldn't share her pain with anyone else.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> -------------------2 weeks later--------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Today was a good day, she awoke at 2pm feeling refreshed. For the first time in a long time Lulu wanted to do something productive. She felt like today was a new beginning for her where she was going to let go of the past and finally move on. Slowly she got up and walked towards the patch of sunlight creeping in that had annoyed her for so long. Opening the curtains slowly, it did make her eyes hurt but it also made her smile. The cute dimpled smile that had long been lost beneath the tears.<br /><br />Coming out of the shower she started to hum while picking out clothes. Her black skinny jeans with a plain white shirt, she left her wavy brown hair down and drew on some eyeliner. Lulu was back, deciding that she had to block out everything that happened. To make sure she had no reminder of all the things that hurt her.<br /><br />Her parents were overjoyed to see their darling Lulu back, they ushered her to the table they made her laugh, told her the latest news. Forced her to take a second helping of everything, made all sorts of plans for the evening, encouraged her to call the people she worked so hard to push away. They had their daughter back, not the empty broken girl they had been watching for the last 2 months, watching her hurt and knowing there was nothing that they could do except give her time and they were right and their hearts filled with joy that she was laughing and smiling with them once again.<br /><br />After a filling lunch, she went upstairs and lay on her bed.. she was feeling dizzy. Running to the bathroom she threw up in the sink and sat down on the cold tiled floor. As she tried to think of what she ate that could have made her sick the coolness of the tiles made her shiver. As she thought harder and harder, her brain began to numb. The explanation she thought of was so ridiculous it couldn't be true.<br /><br />Filled with foreboding, Lulu left the bathroom with each step feeling heavier and heavier she found her phone. Slowly making her way to the calender she scrolled up, and up and further up.. to the month that nearly destroyed her. Her eyes filled up and she knew these tears were not out of sadness, but fear. Clutching the phone tighter she suddenly threw it and it smashed against the wall. Watching it break Lulu just stared, this is what is going to become of her life. The crumbling pieces of her phone falling on the floor, all the optomism of earlier in the day was drained away.<br /><br />Lulu didn't realise how loud she was crying or that she looked like a insane person, rocking back and forth on the floor. Her mother walked in and took one look and ran to her, Um Lulu was scared, her daughter was fine just an hour ago, she thought she had the happy carefree girl back.<br /><br />Lulu just grabbed onto her mother for comfort and cried, she cried for the pain she had been through 2 months 2 weeks and 3 days ago, she cried for what she now knew to be her future sorrow and how she would never be able to get past it.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> 2 months 2 weeks and 3 days ago she had been raped.</strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-12500855842879778482009-04-13T15:51:00.007+03:002009-04-15T02:38:01.011+03:00Part 1------ Sunshine<strong><br /><br /><br />In the darkness she could feel the vibrations of the phone beside her, too exhausted to reach out she squinted her eyes and saw the familiar name flashing across the screen. She shut her eyes again, waiting until she could feel the vibrations stop. Pulling up the covers over her head she ignored the space in her curtains where sunlight was coming in. She wanted to move and close it, to block out any reminder of the world outside her room but she was too tired. The tiny patch of light made her head hurt and she knew if she opened her eyes it would surely blind her. Her soul was hurting, that exhausted her more.<br /><br />Someone was opening the door, timidly poking their head in. She wanted to scream, to cry, to let them hear her pain. She wanted to be left alone, she <em>needed</em> to be left alone. She kept her eyes shut, softly someone padded across the room to her bed and sat down.<br /><br />'7abeebty, yalla goomay' her mother spoke in her soothing voice while stroking her hair the way only mothers knew how.<br /><br />She remained silent. She wasn't sure she could speak even if she wanted to, but she didn't want to.<br /><br />'Please, goomay, you've been in here too long.. lazam you get out of here... yalla please.' her mother began to plead with her. She heard the hurt tone, she knew her mother was crying. The tears started to burn her eyes, she was used to this pain by now. Her eyes felt puffy and swollen but she could only feel it, the dull pounding of her head was suddenly increased as the tears streamed down her face. She was so used to the constant stream of tears, she no longer noticed when she stopped or started.<br /><br />Her mother sat with her a while longer, stroking her hair, knowing this day would be no better than the rest.. her daughter was not ready yet. It hurt her deeply knowing this kind of pain would never heal. She cried her silent tears, seeing the tears escaping her daughters closed eyes. <br /><br />She heard her mother leave the room as quietly as she came in, knowing that soon she would hear the whispers of her father and mother talking in the next room. This made her tired and slowly she began to drift off to a peaceful place that she could escape this pain. She could feel her eyelashes against her cheeks and she fluttered her eyes open and closed. She was attempting to remain awake so she could hear the hushed conversation next door. It was a pointless battle, exhaustion was taking over and she slowly pulled the covers back up her soft fist resting on her cheek. She was curled into a ball, a position she barely moved from since she got into her bed.<br /><br />She awoke suddenly to the vibrations of her phone, the sunlight had dimmed. She had learnt to tell time by the strength of the sun, she knew it was near 6 now. This time she had enough energy to reach out and once again squinting her eyes she saw another familiar name. She was pushing them away when they were desperate to reach out and help. But none of them could understand her pain, none of them even knew.<br /><br />*210 missed calls*<br /><br />Why couldn't they understand she needed to be left alone? Slowly she pushed the buttons making her way to her inbox, it was full. Each push of the button made her tired. She read the messages, her friends all begging her to let them know whats wrong, but they couldn't understand. Her heart stopped.. she saw his name and she opened his messages. She missed him, but she couldn't have him anymore. Everything had changed. She loved him and he loved her, but this pain was never ending and he couldn't fix it. No one could fix it.<br /><br />Dropping her phone back on the bed she rolled over, the tears once again burned her eyes. She remembered how that day began, she remembered her old self.. how she ached for that girl again. She remembered his touch, his smile and the time they had. Then it all turned black, the thing she tried desperately to block out again and again, the thing that had caused all this. But by the end of the day when it all changed that girl was gone.<br /><br />Slowly she closed her eyes again, she was too tired.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />-----------------------------------------<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />This was just something i had to get down, I was thinking about it for a while and I really enjoyed writing it bss I need to know if anyone is liking this ya3ni what you think if i continued this as a story? <br /><br />Lovefool xx</strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-11808249571224405022009-02-02T17:23:00.004+03:002009-02-02T17:46:28.990+03:00True Love<strong><br />You know what the saddest thing is? When you realise your parents are not the true love of eachothers lives. Ya3nii my parents are mashallah very fond of eachother and get along great bss they weren't in love when they got married. I'm not against arranged marriages, if thats what suits you then I wish you all the luck and hope you would be very happy with them.<br /><br />When My dad was 23 he fell in love with his 19 year old cousin oo they were so in love they wanted to get married right away bss the family didn't approve,, to many stupid reasons to explain. They planned on running away together bss they were caught and forced to stop seeing eachother. So though it broke both their hearts they ended the relationship, a year later my dad got married to my mom and his cousin never got over him. She never married oo is still in love with him until this day, even 25 years later. <br /><br />Not so long ago I had to make an important decision regarding my future (someone had proposed oo very long story) and my mother told me the whole story, we went to visit this said cousin l2ana we're close to her family. My mama told me to just look at the way she looks at my dad and it will make me realise if what i'm doing is right or not. I looked and I saw she still loves him more than anything else. Its as if nothing else matters to her than being with him, you know the expression 'A blind man seeing the sun for the first time', though she never makes it obvious to someone inside and personally involved in the story you can see it. Thats why she could never get married oo thats why she barely talks to him though he is always the polite friend. <br /><br />Oo my dad, he still cares for her alot. I don't think he'll ever forget how much he loved her bss he has other obligations now and I'm glad to say he is always happy with my mama and thats all we really need.<br /><br />I don't really know why I told you guys that story bss it was going around in my head for a while ;P <br /> </strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-35204979857278864782008-12-13T14:58:00.008+03:002008-12-13T17:40:23.072+03:00Bliss...<strong><br /> You know what I find the most perfect thing in the world?<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTzvET2c1CTHWeu9kvgN0mRQs_8EWuyNG1zosJVD9a1iGDOeysXxm7Om9Zsi67v3Lv_UmMetZB54tNiNhoE8_TMN6wm_3gGGQEvVAUn53mV_mvVIJZ6wpF9y7cVtD2nrMzD1mBGGFv9eH/s1600-h/Rain.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoTzvET2c1CTHWeu9kvgN0mRQs_8EWuyNG1zosJVD9a1iGDOeysXxm7Om9Zsi67v3Lv_UmMetZB54tNiNhoE8_TMN6wm_3gGGQEvVAUn53mV_mvVIJZ6wpF9y7cVtD2nrMzD1mBGGFv9eH/s400/Rain.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279246037939807570" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4tFN1ezJJmxRBYHhxkF7b_rqS1i6VNnSwVuMuxXwIx9qeoIezbwuruntH_0VlW0DAes_Q3lF0Hv3_rJyQWexXymqB30P3Hty2VuRP90pdJ5c3HO1iZ5ns3NuSDjtdD_Rip97SpB8n5btx/s1600-h/food_latte.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 198px; height: 216px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4tFN1ezJJmxRBYHhxkF7b_rqS1i6VNnSwVuMuxXwIx9qeoIezbwuruntH_0VlW0DAes_Q3lF0Hv3_rJyQWexXymqB30P3Hty2VuRP90pdJ5c3HO1iZ5ns3NuSDjtdD_Rip97SpB8n5btx/s400/food_latte.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279243804279824962" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> Sitting outside with my delicious coffee... listening to the rain, and curled up with a warm blanket and good book. I can't think of a better way to spend my winter.<br /><br /><br /><br /> <3<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> You know what else I love?<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGpwSDlhcov355p1A3FJ2sfthOcbrVdU91wKHx403OzV-uXOIknuD9esCaPOxCNqpMlagnH6ZIutGyCjgyYUESvQk6aEITEchciizGLo5vZyDF9jx7mhhs81H5laVJT8v98NZq0kma9Xo/s1600-h/Image031.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEGpwSDlhcov355p1A3FJ2sfthOcbrVdU91wKHx403OzV-uXOIknuD9esCaPOxCNqpMlagnH6ZIutGyCjgyYUESvQk6aEITEchciizGLo5vZyDF9jx7mhhs81H5laVJT8v98NZq0kma9Xo/s400/Image031.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279283515114692258" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN1PMZgw_6XTM7NU-cKxyk1cqHGfoR9McpgSqL3JgCRk2DhyphenhyphenbV864IRltb0q3CeXINVBfEGxlLhk1BpGXPZEdmKrtnWOXwc0kqRSS12b_Zq4JMb1GQLQ_xb8T7-T-JxUQOe0Z5N0qWcoI8/s1600-h/hammock+beach.png"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 100px; height: 100px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN1PMZgw_6XTM7NU-cKxyk1cqHGfoR9McpgSqL3JgCRk2DhyphenhyphenbV864IRltb0q3CeXINVBfEGxlLhk1BpGXPZEdmKrtnWOXwc0kqRSS12b_Zq4JMb1GQLQ_xb8T7-T-JxUQOe0Z5N0qWcoI8/s400/hammock+beach.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5279283504826726466" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br />The beach. Its one of my favourite places in the world, ya3nii I want to have a house on the beach, wake up each morning to the sound of the waves. Make sandcastles and write my name in the sand all day long. Adrii I sound like a 5 year old bss i love it ;P!! I really miss the beach right now cuz its too cold to go there.. *sighs*. The picture with the heart on the sand is by yours truly haha, I applaude my own drawing skills.<br /><br />Well.. apart from the total randomness of the post thats it for now.. hope everyones having a great winter holiday!! =)<br /><br /> </strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-61538927244625615182008-11-25T22:16:00.007+03:002008-11-27T20:32:15.703+03:00You don't have to call I won't pick up the phone this is the last straw, don't want to hurt anymore<strong>Through the haze clouding my head there was a buzzing noise coming from the distance, I rolled over on the bed trying to ignore the ongoing buzzing. Finally I gave up and felt around in the dark my hand finding the cold metal of my mobile.<br /><br /><em>Me (voice really sleepy): Halooo?<br />Mr Man: Halaa2, I woke you up?<br />Me: Eeee<br />Mr Man: Asaf.. yalla go back to sleep<br />Me: Laa2 3adii I'm awake now anyways *yawns*<br />Mr Man: Okay, so how was your day galbii?<br />Me: Zaina.. oo intay?<br />Mr Man: Tamam<br />Mr Man: Inzain you told me that there was a book you wanted oo you couldn't find it anywhere so I ordered it for you last week ww it arrived today so I'll drop it off tomorow<br />Me: ....<br />Me: I told you about that book a MONTH ago<br />Mr Man: Eee, so?<br />Me: Laa2 nothing I'm just amazed you remembered!!<br />Mr Man: I Knew you really wanted it, its not a big deal<br />Me: It is, you found it for me when no one else could<br />Mr Man: Laa2 forget it, just something for you<br />Me: Your spoiling me [a]<br />Mr Man: You deserve it<br />Me: Hehe</em><br /><br />We talked for a while longer, he was being sweet oo 5alas I already knew I was falling for him. It was like he was the perfect guy and it looked like he felt the same way about me bss he knew I wasn't ready for any type of relationship more than friendship.<br /><br /><br /><em>Mr Man: Im gonna go find something to eat oo il call you back ba3d shway<br />Me: Eee okay<br />Mr Man: a7ibich wayid<br />Me: adrii<br />Mr Man: What I don't get an a7ibik?<br />Me: Laa2 you have to earn it darling <br />Mr Man: Ahaaa you'll see I'll earn your love someday, you won't be able to resist my charms<br />Me: Hehe I'd like to see that!<br />Mr Man: Eee you will</em> <br /><br /><br />As we hung up the phone and I stared into the darkness, recalling our conversation which made me smile and blush into the pillow. I started to doze off again when the buzzing started again. Half asleep I answered without looking..<br /><br /><br /><em>Me (smiling): ya 7iloo that was quick<br />Guy #2: ya 3umrii, what are you talking about?<br />Me: ...<br />Me: laaa2 I was waiting for Roora to call back <br />Guy #2: Ahhaaa... so how are you?? I miss you its been too long<br />Me: I'm fine, ee it has.</em><br /><br />After nearly a month of silence, he decides to call me up out of the blue? It felt like the last month had never happened we talked like always and it was like everything bad had been erased.<br /><br /><em>Guy #2: 7abibti?<br />Me: Hmm?<br />Guy #2: a7ibich<br />Me: Awwww<br />Guy #2: Laa2 I LOVE YOU<br />ME: ...<br />Guy #2: I want to be with you<br />Me: No<br />Guy #2: Shino?<br />Me: You don't love me<br />Guy #2: I think I know my own feelings<br />Me: Laa2!! After a month of nothing you can't just tell me you love me and you want me, you can't do that!! Do you know how much it hurt when you just stopped talking to me? Ya3nii nearly 5 years of friendship mean nothing to you??!</em><br /><br /><br />I had burst, I could feel the tears burning in my eyes and my throat start to ache from holding it all back. I had to let it out, my mind was spinning in circles. I was gettin over Guy #2 and now he decides he wants me? I couldn't do it. <br /><br /><br /><em>Guy #2: Laa2 of course they meant everything to me. 7ayatii I only stopped talking to you because I didn't want to ruin the friendship with my feelings getting in the way oo bss thats all and I decided to take a chance now. I don't want to be with anyone but you, you're all I want.</em><br /><br />I started to choke on my own tears, it just didn't make any sense to me.. he LOVED me. Like I always loved him, like I always wished he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was done waiting for him, it didn't hurt so much anymore when I thought about him. I always secretly hoped we could fix our friendship and bring it back to the way it was. For the first week after he stopped talking to me I was heartbroken but I had moved on! What was he doing messing with my feelings again? I couldn't take him leaving me again. No matter what was between us now I will always love him maybe just as a friend, maybe more. I had always imagined him saying those things and dreamed of the millions of the way he would tell he would always be true to me. I was trying to find the right words from the millions of thoughts in my head to tell him... he was waiting. I had no idea what he was thinking and I wanted to know why he was doing this to me again.<br /><br />I was torn a big part of me wanted to tell him NO, I wanted to hurt him the way that he hurt me so many times. But then there was the little voice inside my head saying: <em>yes</em> tell him YES. He was still waiting...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Then the phone beeped into my ear, I pulled away and stared<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />*Incoming call Mr Man*<br /><br /><br /></strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-37966471445878409762008-11-10T17:01:00.003+03:002008-11-10T17:25:26.195+03:00True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained<strong>Sorrry I haven't posted in a while bss exams are coming up oo iv been trying to study (trying being the key word)<br /><br />I think it's officialy over with Guy #2 for good. I don't really know, after the last time he's distanced himself from me and he won't talk to me like he did before. I'm kind of glad that this is all over bss I'm also sad in a way I lost a really close friend..<br />Also I'm driving myself crazy =P adrii its stupid bss I can't help it. What was so wrong with me that he decided to stop?? Did he find someone else or was he just bored with me? I tried confronting him about this:<br /><br />Me: Halaa2<br />Guy #2: hi<br />Me: How are you?? <br />Guy #2: good.. u?<br />Me: How was ur day?<br />Guy #2: Good.. urs?<br />Me: Gooooood bss im really bored theres nothin to do ;(<br />Guy #2: Aww<br />Me: ...whats wrong?<br />Guy #2: nothing<br />Me: Then talk 3dil!!!<br />Guy #2: I am<br />Me: ya3nii ur acting like I'm annoying u<br />Guy #2: laa2<br />Me: Oh okay<br /><br />Thats my confrontation... akeed it doesn't look like much but this how its been for the past week and its driving me nuts so I just give up and I'll try to get on without him. <br /><br />Bss I really miss him.. I miss how he made me laugh, even how he made me cry sometimes cuz when he tried to make up for it he really made me happy. I miss our stupid conversations and the way that I could understand him and what he was thinking. I don't know what to make of this new Guy #2 its like someones come and replaced my Guy #2 with a stranger I don't know.<br /><br />I'm not going to give up the friendship I just hope I don't push it too far that he just stops talking to me. <br /><br />Well thats pretty much it for now.. I notice I haven't gotten any answers from my previous post about the long distance relationship stuff.. have I lost everyones interest? :(</strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-38564901435645548862008-10-27T16:44:00.007+03:002008-11-10T19:50:19.235+03:00The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves<strong><br />I have been tormenting myself.. over and over again. Guy #1 has a girlfriend now.. but he never told me! I can't even explain how shocked oo sad I felt when I heard from someone else about him. Ya3nii i know its selfish bss its an unwritten rule between us, its always been that way we tell eachother kilshay no matter what.. even if we're in a fight we always help the other if they need us.<br /><br />And he wouldn't tell me such an important thing?? I want to ask him bss im worried what he will think, wallah i don't like him anymore.<br /><br />So is it so wrong of me to be insanely jealous of the girl he's with now? <br /><br /><em>'Layan'</em>.. I was good friends with her, nearly her only girl friend as she prefered to hang out with guys bss she moved and now shes going to uni in US. Ana oo Layan don't talk anymore since she moved bss I need to find out from someone how this all happened oo I don't want to ask Guy #1, so I'm just sitting around making myself miserable. I get long distance relationships oo i think its romantic and all but isn't it hard? I wish it was much simpler bss its not.<br /><br />I'm not jealous that I don't get to be with him.. its not that ya3nii i do love Guy #1, hes 7ayatii bss I don't want to be that way with him, or anyone else really. I just wish he told me himself not that I had to find it out from someone else. Ww i'm being selfish but I'm scared she'll take up more of his time and we won't be as close anymore. I'm not ready to let that happen no matter what. <br /><br />So here's my question.. what do you think of long distance relationships? I mean personally I think its so sweet but I don't think I could ever be in one myself. I guess it would be just too hard oo I don't know the guy really has to be worth it.<br /><br />I'm just hoping I'll figure a way to sneak it out of Guy #1 without having to ask him outright ww update on mr man!! He didn't get the job.<br /><br />Bss that doesn't mean he hasn't kept in touch ;)</strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-75690881211497732962008-10-25T16:02:00.003+03:002008-10-31T12:11:38.647+03:00Fallin<strong><br />I keep on fallin... in and out of love with you<br />Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue.<br />Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used.<br />Lovin you darlin, makes me so confused<br /><br />I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you <br />I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you<br /><br />Oh Oh, I never felt this way <br />How do you give me so much pleasure, cause me so much pain?<br />Just when I think, I've taken more than would a fool... <br />I start fallin back in love with you.<br /><br />I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you <br />I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you<br /><br />I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you <br />I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you</strong><br /><br />This is 'Fallin- Alicia Keys' i really like it right now and i guess it really describes how i feel about guy #2 so yeahLove foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-50640481387310017532008-10-19T14:38:00.004+03:002008-10-19T16:50:45.982+03:00Mr Man<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><strong>It was a <em>good</em> day. The water was hot in the shower oo i5tii didnt steal my shampoo for once, I was wearing my new silver flats and I looked pretty good if I do say so myself ;D </strong></span><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">I had work instead of uni that morning and when I got there everybody was really excited.. they were holding interviews cuz someone had just quit.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Then <em>he</em> walked in...</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">I knew him, of course I knew him. We used to go to school together but he was so much better then I remembered him. I could feel myself turning red and trying to hide from him. Akeed that didn't work, he came right upto my desk with that gorgeous smile of his and those deep brown eyes.. why had I never noticed this before? My heart was pounding as we made small talk, he was there for the interview. I couldn't go through this everyday! As soon as he walked into the office I was punching numbers into the mobile.</span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;"><em>Me: Roora!! Roora!</em></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;"><em>Roora: haaa?</em></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;"><em>Me: HE'S HERE</em></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;"><em>Roora: Mino??</em></span></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;"><em>Me: Roora ya7mara! (whispers) Mr. Man</em></span></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: Mino??</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: Remember he was in school with us? He was 7ILOOO oo i used to talk to him he was the sweetest thing ever bss you wanted to marry him and we fought over who he would marry??</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: AAAAHHH</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: eeeeh adrii</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: AAAAHHHH</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: Roorii shut up</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: Did he say anything to you?!</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: He said I look great</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: YA intaay </span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: hehe</span></em></strong><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;">We talked about 10 more minutes, remembering old times and gossiping until Mr Man came out of the office and started walking towards my desk again.</span></strong><br /><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: Roora he's coming here again.. call you back </span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#ff9900;">Roora: ooooooo2</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;">Me: ya7mara</span></em></strong><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#cc33cc;"></span></em></strong><br /><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#000000;">We talked a little while longer and then exhanged phone numbers.. I didn't think he'd actually call me. Bss the phone rang that night and we talked and talked for 4 hours straight. I haven't talked that much in a looong time and the last time I felt this way about someone he broke my heart (Guy #2).. I'm in real danger for falling for this guy and I don't know if I can go through the hurt again.</span></strong><br /><br /><strong><em><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></em></strong></span>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-45580004901753330132008-10-11T23:45:00.000+03:002008-10-12T00:01:57.739+03:00Footprints<div align="center"><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>You walked into my heart</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>leaving footprints behind,</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>Making me feel special and warm</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>loved for and cared for.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>Suddenly it was like all I had known was gone</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>all who I loved abandonded me,</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>My heart was like glass so fragile</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>and in a moment you shattered it.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>In a moment everything was gone</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>scattered to the winds,</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>Just like our everlasting love</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>gone in an instant forever.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong></strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>My mind goes over everything</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>I realise you never cared,</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>Knowing I must pay the price for my mistakes</strong></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"><strong>I'm glad you made me realise what I had done.</strong></span></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">My heart is on the mend</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">I have begun to rebuild my life,</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">It will never be the same but</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">now I know to be careful.</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">When someone walks into my heart</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">leaving footprints behind,</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#990000;">I will make sure they are the ones who will stay forever.</span></strong></div><strong><div align="center"><br /><style type="text/css"><br />td.text td.text table table table,<br />td.text td.text table br,<br />td.text td.text table .orangetext15,<br />td.text td.text .redlink,<br />td.text td.text span.btext<br />{display:none;}<br />td.text td.text table {background-color:transparent;}<br />td.text td.text table td, td.text td.text table {height:0;padding:0;border:0;}<br />td.text td.text table table td {padding:3;}<br />td.text td.text 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{filter:none!important;}</style><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">A poem by yours truly.. hope you enjoy it. And I'll be back soon with more stories ;D<br /><style type="text/css"><br />table table table td {vertical-align:top !important;}<br />span.blacktext12 {<br />visibility:visible !important;<br />background-color:transparent;<br />background-image:url("http://ly.fdots.com/cc/c4/fa8d67e24064e3dc00ff1e0cb913533d.gif");<br />background-repeat:no-repeat;<br />background-position:center center;<br />font-size:0px; letter-spacing:-0.5px;<br />width:435px; height:75px; display:block !important; }<br />span.blacktext12 img {display:none;}</style><br /><br /></span></div><span style="color:#cc0000;"></span></strong><style type="text/css"><br /> body, html {visibility:visible !important; display:block !important}<br /></style>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-56696690214151142562008-10-11T00:22:00.000+03:002008-10-11T00:33:00.276+03:00Not again..<div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong> </div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;">I feel really lost and alone right now.. and I can't tell anyone whats wrong and its all killing me inside. I don't have enough energy to say anything and I know its been too long since I have posted anythin bss i can't right now.. </span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;">Guy #2 did it again.. he used me and as soon as I feel like we're gettin somewhere bss 5alas hes had his fun oo ana? Who cares? I'm nothing apparently and it all SUCKS. </span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;"></span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#333333;">Back later when I don't feel like im falling down a never ending tunnel of misery</span></strong></div>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-33470717860737729512008-09-30T01:14:00.001+03:002008-11-10T17:30:42.141+03:00Behind these hazel eyes<strong><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#999900;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Seems <em>like just yesterday</em>, u were a part of me.. I used to stand <strong>so tall</strong> I used to be <strong>so strong</strong>. ur arms around me tight everything, it felt so right.. <strong>unbreakable</strong>, like <em>nothin could go wrong</em>,, now I <em>cant breathe</em> no, I <em>cant sleep</em>... im <strong>barely hanging on</strong></span></span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#999900;">Here I am, once again im <strong>torn into pieces</strong> cant deny it, cant pretend.. just thought u were <em>the one</em>,, broken up deep inside but u wont get to see the tears I cry... behind these hazel eyes...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#999900;">I told u <em>everythin</em> opened up nd let u in, u made me feel alright for once in my life.. now all thats left of me is what I <strong>pretend</strong> to be,, <em><strong>so together but so broken up inside</strong></em>.. cuz I cant <em>breathe</em> no, I cant <em>sleep</em>... im <strong>barely hanging on</strong><br />Here I am, once again im <strong>torn into pieces</strong> cant deny it, cant pretend.. just thought u were <em>the one</em>,, broken up deep inside but u wont get to see the tears I cry... behind these hazel eyes...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#999900;">Swallow me then <em>spit</em> me out, for hating u I blame myself.. seeing u it <strong>kills</strong> me now,, no I dont cry on the outside anymore...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#999900;">Here I am, once again im <strong>torn into pieces</strong> cant deny it, cant pretend.. just thought u were <em>the one</em>,, broken up deep inside but u wont get to see the tears I cry... behind these hazel eyes...</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#999900;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#999900;"></span> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#999900;"></span> </div><div align="center"> </div><div align="center"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#999900;"></span></div><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#999900;">Eee adrii this song is so old bss that doesnt make it any less nice or the lyrics any more beautifully heartbreaking.. oo it also has a big thing in common with me (apart from the obvious feelings for a guy.. *hint* eye colour *hint*) haha not sure why i told you that kinda in a weird mood,, so yeah my song for you ;D</span></div></strong>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-86954403976044778212008-09-27T05:51:00.001+03:002008-09-27T06:25:09.201+03:00How could you?<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">Sorry for not posting lately.. busy week and lots of things to say. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">I think I finally realised I can't be in love with Guy #2 anymore.. we can continue to have our thing, I can continue to hope that it means something more to him even though it doesn't. But I finally got it.. while I keep on holding onto to something that honestly and truly is never gonna happen he's gonna go and fall in love again cuz its so easy for him. He doesn't have to think about anything he just does gets what he wants. Let me tell you why..</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">It was me and my bestfriend at a mall and we were having fun and shopping, oo doing girly stuff. Then we ran into Guy #1 and Guy #2... ana, i froze when I saw them and couldn't think of what to do, bss they came upto us and started to talk. Then I saw Guy #2 starting to use the moves on my bestfriend. I could barely breathe, she was actually flirting back oo soon it became just like the two of them and it was like we were interrupting. My Guy #2 how could you do this to me?! I gave up so much for you wallah you don't know what its like, keeping everything hidden. Living a lie all the time and then pretending its all okay. I do all this bss still its not enough for you? You need someone you can be with publicly and you chose someone so close to me.. how can you not know that would kill me?</span><br /><br /><br /><p><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#333399;">I knew there had been something going on between them for a while bss i didn't think anything of it.. i was sure it was just him messing around not making a big deal out of it. I never mentioned anything to my bestfriend I was sure she wasn't that serious about him. But the way she acted now I could see I was so wrong... she was falling for him and falling hard. Just like I had and just like all the girls before us.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#333399;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">I quietly just stepped back and walked off with Guy #1 I couldn't take it anymore, everything was spinning. I got to the car sat in the drivers seat and just fell apart, the tears wouldn't stop and Guy #1 got into the passenger seat and sat there waiting.. my 7ayatii Guy #1 if he wasn't there to calm me down I don't know what I would have done wallah ma adrii. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">By the time Guy #2 and my bestfriend had realised we were gone and found us, I pulled myself together and wiped away the cried away make up. Guy #1 kept me from going insane and kept me down to the ground. Bss it still felt like it was all gone and the pain was eating away inside of me. After making Guy #1 swear not to tell anything, and my bestfriend and Guy #2 exchanging numbers I drove the car numbly.. listening to her girly fun about how cute Guy #2 is, I nodded and smiled and laughed in the right places. In my head I was replaying a thousand memories.. every touch, every giggle, every kiss..</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">As soon as I got home and crawled into bed ready for more tears, with the covers all the way above my head my phone beeped..</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">Guy #2: are you free tonight? Wallah i miss you, i need to see you.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">Looking at the message my eyes blurred up. The same memories came again, the same words he says and I always fall for. Bss then a new memory one from this afternoon, of him smiling at my bestfriend and moving in closer.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">I switch off the phone and wait for something, anything.. to make this hurt go away.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#333399;">P.S. wallah im sorry i know i promised you mr man oo you will get him bss probably after 3id. Im so busy i have no time to do ay shay. So I'll try my best, really I will. Hope you enjoyed this part!! </span><br /></p><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#333399;"></span>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-64127451682430002522008-09-21T18:32:00.000+03:002008-09-21T18:54:18.333+03:00Hello?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimvmLlc_nzPKzAfo_-qzwEXnD7eBNVyixJyVKjy_yYdrO0MmnTjIffFvGpXMc4mF3dpZe05i2S4q_F3NFoTij8FWQOv7we6E3A0XX-lF4Y4VpTVROOZc5GXDfGwFVWwrk3PYXt2iJ4-sIp/s1600-h/why+cant+i.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5248503448081118114" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimvmLlc_nzPKzAfo_-qzwEXnD7eBNVyixJyVKjy_yYdrO0MmnTjIffFvGpXMc4mF3dpZe05i2S4q_F3NFoTij8FWQOv7we6E3A0XX-lF4Y4VpTVROOZc5GXDfGwFVWwrk3PYXt2iJ4-sIp/s400/why+cant+i.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">нєℓℓσ.. ιѕ ιт мє уσυяє ℓσσкιηg ƒσя? ι ¢αη ѕєє ιт ιη уσυя єуєѕ, ι ¢αη ѕєє ιт ιη уσυя ѕмιℓє. уσυ'яє αℓℓ ι'νє єνєя ωαηтє∂ η∂ му αямѕ αяє σρєη ωι∂є, вє¢αυѕє уσυ кησω נυѕт ωнαт тσ ѕαу η∂ уσυ кησω נυѕт ωнαт тσ ∂σ. ι ωαηт тσ тєℓℓ уσυ ѕσ мυ¢н... ι ℓσνє уσυ</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;">ι ℓσηg тσ тєℓℓ уσυ тιмє αη∂ тιмє αgαιη, нσω мυ¢н ι ¢αяє.. ѕσмєтιмєѕ ι ƒєєℓ му нєαят ωιℓℓ σνєяƒℓσω, нєℓℓσ.. ι'νє נυѕт gσт тσ ℓєт уσυ кησω. ι ωση∂єя ωнєяє уσυ αяє η∂ ι ωση∂єя ωнαт уσυ ∂σ,, αяє уσυ ѕσмєωнєяє ƒєєℓιηg ℓσηєℓу? σя ιѕ ѕσмєσηє ℓσνιηg уσυ? тєℓℓ мє нσω тσ ωιη уσυя нєαят, ƒσя ι нανєη'т gσт α ¢ℓυє,, вυт ℓєт мє ѕтαят ву ѕαуιηg.... ι ℓσνє уσυ</span></strong></div><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;"></span></strong></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;">Yaaah so.. not really in the mood to tell you what happenened after with Guy #1. But I will tell you, I saw Guy #2.. well more like ran into him. I thought by avoiding him I could get rid of these feelings I have for him but that didn't work cuz when I saw him its like my heart <em>exploded</em>. Bss it didn't last very long, I came upto him and talked for a bit but he barely looked at me more than once. That hurts.. really bad. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;">Don't you like the song? I JUST heard it on the radio and I was about to start crying and that was kinda hard cuz i was driving oo i couldn't see bss yaah 3adii. It's called 'Hello- Lionel Richie' I just wish I could stop feeling the way I did Guy #2 all he ever does is keep on hurting me oo then coming back to do it again. </span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;"></span></div><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;">I'm depressing myself now lol I'm thinking I'll go hang out with the girls now and have a guy bashing session. Not that I have much to say as <strong>NO ONE</strong> knows <em>ANYTHING</em> about me oo Guy #2 and I can't tell them either. More on Guy #1 and theres something new coming up to!! Mr Man ;) (lame name i know bss 3adii how much can you do from lack of sleep in ramadan?)</span></div>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-17397645960334123042008-09-17T00:36:00.000+03:002008-09-17T00:48:38.784+03:00And on it goes<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;">So guess what? Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse.. they did. Guy #1 knows about me and Guy #2, he always knew. But now he wants in on it. So I tried it, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and all that but it just doesn't feel as <em>right</em> as it does with Guy #2.. with him I feel like its worth taking the risk and all the crap I put up with. So now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do, cuz I managed to distract Guy #1 and promise him later but I don't want to do anything later or every again. The thing is he's so sweet about it oo 7aram I adore him so much and I don't want to hurt him.</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;">Guy #2 is a different story. He has someone and he loves her like crazy apparently and it makes me sick with jealousy whenever I see the two of them together and I drive myself crazy over him, thinking about the two of them. Bss I can't say anything and I wouldn't ever do that to her because she is a good friend of mine which makes it so much worse. The sick thing is I'm still continuing this thing behind her back and as bad as it sounds to admit it, I love having his attention no matter what way. Its so hard to get it any other way than that. I know, I know I'm an awful person and all that bss I'm crazy about the guy.. I can't help it and he doesn't make it any easier for me. </span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;">I have so many more things I want to say but can't right now as I have work ib morning oo my boss will kill me if I'm late again ;). Btw if theres anyone actually reading my posts could you let me know by leaving comments? I want to know I'm not just talkin to myself [a]. Thanks ;D</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#33ff33;"></span>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-6315529124967943312008-09-15T14:59:00.000+03:002008-09-15T15:43:28.554+03:00Why did it have to get so complicated?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcOrUbIOm8MDYtdNfdroANa7fD89fJDT-6NTwWd7taBT9NJ07YtgTPqMFXxTDXA1fGmyw8OpjKI-nJsKQJzpqo4O0qy6VLVSrKzzRjU3mpSdQARMOe1VqBTT-OgV60h0-moA5hibTSlNv-/s1600-h/whole+book.gif"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246227200934131330" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcOrUbIOm8MDYtdNfdroANa7fD89fJDT-6NTwWd7taBT9NJ07YtgTPqMFXxTDXA1fGmyw8OpjKI-nJsKQJzpqo4O0qy6VLVSrKzzRjU3mpSdQARMOe1VqBTT-OgV60h0-moA5hibTSlNv-/s400/whole+book.gif" border="0" /></a><br /><div><br /><div><div><div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000099;">It started out innoncently enough.. he was in school with me and for 4 years we barely spoke two words to eachother but through a friend we soon became close.. Lets call him Guy #2 (I'll get to Guy #1 later on).</span><br /><br /><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000099;">I trusted him, i told him <em>everything</em> and I grew to love him.. bss not as anything more than friends. He was a player and we both knew it and I promised myself never to become one of those girls that he played. I told him all my thoughts and he thought I was insane but accepted me anyways and that meant so much. I was never really close to any guys before, I considered him <strong>MY guy</strong>. You know? Not actually mine but <strong>MY guy bestfriend</strong>. He was smart, funny and really I could see why none of the girls could resist him, but we fought alot too. We both had bad tempers and it clashed at the best of times. </span><br /><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000099;">Onto Guy #1, he was almost like Guy #2 but I really fell hard for Guy #1. He <strong><em>always, always</em></strong> listened to my problems no matter how stupid they were and made me feel like he actually cared. Well Guy #2 always suspected my feelings for #1 and hinted at it but I would never admit it. Not that it matter anyways Guy #1 found out anyways and it didn't go so well for me. But I got over him eventually.. </span><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000099;">It was two summer's ago and I spent most of my nights talking to both my guys on msn, until Guy #2 started something, it changed both of us and I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to stop it. I can't tell you what it is because it'll give me away but it made everything so complicated. Some days I can't stand the thought of it and other days I don't regret it for a second. I turned into one of the girls that fell for him.. bss not that way so much. It was more of a 'more than friends and less than anything else' relationship. Unfortunately Guy #2 really was a jerk when he tried to be and knew exactly what to do to get to me. <span style="color:#000000;">He <strong>completely</strong> and <strong>utterly</strong> <em>broke my heart</em> and I spent most of my nights crying over it,</span> thankfully I got to be away most of the summer and didn't go online as much. He stopped the thing he started and though I was greatful.. the way he did it hurt me so bad. Then he tried to go back to it, even though I was distant at first and he could see that he hurt me.. but he was still my guy #2 and I couldn't forget that.</span><br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5246226769972653490" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS_tzAhyphenhyphen3zv9LLV9nvZHuj9EjiC6CyUeYOFO2rTE1zYVGolJT01ZuVyac05TS9JYYrnxeMknAwe6ZomJxEmrDF-DbCn8jAkSuInit2l6cAdYGbqASOsX8b8ZZ09wJoDDe0hujCOqiatLCb/s400/once+made+you+smile.jpg" border="0" /><br /><br /></div><br /><div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#000099;">I wish I didn't regret what I did because he made me laugh so much. But there was too much secrecy and sneaking around, hurting people we both loved for that. I let him carry on with what he started eventually.. and my life's been a series of messed up events and decisions I regret and mistakes I've made. But those are all other stories for another day..</span></div></div></div></div></div>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-4482804952808828492008-09-13T13:14:00.000+03:002008-09-13T13:25:35.304+03:00This Sucks<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:130%;color:#ff0000;">Okay i'm on holiday and <strong>TRYING</strong> to use the internet at the hotel's computer in Europe, I can't even friggin sign in.. you know why? Cuz the keyboards are messed up!!! Ya3nii i get it, its europe you like to be different bss how is anyone supposed to use the stupid thing?! I couldn't stand it oo mushkila i think i freaked the poor guy using the other computer out when screamed <em>'FINE'</em> at the keyboard.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#ff0000;">So yeah.. now he thinks i'm crazy too. But seriously, is there anyone else out there who <strong>CAN'T STAND THE FREAKING</strong> european keyboards??</span> </span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"></span><br /><span style="font-size:130%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5245448928148827826" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5Ex8_Pee1CqlYa7IZlsDC6-n7gwcOif-ApvGS-o0r0gZdDunQbPLb-oAVE01A2vjojNUHRdtK_jOeF5s1BU8_PfyOJ2PTxKw9FdRTx9Fu6lKP2I3MvbvLDrqgurSGyy-FOquDNa4JaouQ/s400/France-Spain-2008_396.jpg" border="0" /></span><span style="font-size:130%;color:#cc0000;"><strong>Loool yeah you guys must think I'm insane too.. but theres alot more of this craziness to come [a]<br /></strong></span>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-7507958308352735712008-09-13T09:20:00.000+03:002008-09-13T13:26:32.888+03:00Just like a pill...<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMK3OOv79_Qqi9_mxMbnoyqsH08eyNvVixHYpe4u97-FcpZo88tCKdmUYOCvmL-_ZZZJcodnZFeRu97EIW0R0JEB89P_mpdQTXDQc-UAHMXv10XBJGu0LjMqPkHlBs12MpRA5c7mHnn2JE/s1600-h/happy+pills.gif"><span style="font-size:130%;"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5245446248659286290" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMK3OOv79_Qqi9_mxMbnoyqsH08eyNvVixHYpe4u97-FcpZo88tCKdmUYOCvmL-_ZZZJcodnZFeRu97EIW0R0JEB89P_mpdQTXDQc-UAHMXv10XBJGu0LjMqPkHlBs12MpRA5c7mHnn2JE/s400/happy+pills.gif" border="0" /></span></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><div><span style="font-size:130%;"><em><span style="color:#9999ff;"><span style="color:#33ccff;">I think I'll get out of here.. where I can run just as fast I can, to the middle of nowhere to the middle of my frustrated fears. And I <strong>Swear</strong> you're just like a pill.. instead of making me better you keep making me ill.</span> </span></em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>I keep running everything over again and again in my mind.. it doesn't make sense. Ya3ne was I not good enough for you? I didn't give you everything you needed?</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>He was and is my everything but I can never admit that to him, and I hate crying nd hurting over him all the time.. he's not worth it bss he is worth it. Adri you have her and you love her.. but what about me? Did the time we spent together not mean anything to you?</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong>You used me and I knew that then and I still know it.. bss i'm going to let you keep on using me cuz im powerless to say no to you and I would give it all up for you. You have no idea how much I risked for you and how stupid i am to do all this when I don't get anything out of it bss a few hours of your love. I need you to leave me and let me move on but i know im gonna hurt so bad without you.</strong><br /><strong></strong><br /><strong><span style="color:#33ccff;">P.S </span></strong><br /><span style="color:#33ccff;">I think i'll be starting all my blogs with songs from know on, madrii it depends on my mood. This one was 'Just like a pill- Pink'. I'll give you some more info on all this later.. must go now ;D</span><br /><strong></strong></span></div>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2274781957617430428.post-67596701799706506052008-09-12T22:56:00.000+03:002008-09-13T13:27:03.033+03:00The Beginning<span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;color:#339999;">Hey everyone reading this!! Welcome to my first blog ever.. I've been playing around with the idea of getting a blog for a while oo il youm i though bss 5alas here goes nothing ;D. Well I haven't really thought of anything to say so far..</span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#339999;">I'm just so scared of getting caught doing this bss i can't resist, I love taking risks.. really whats life without a few risks? chithii this.. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;color:#339999;">Well this was a completely useless first post haha.. Wallah the next one will be more interesting. Hope u enjoyed my ramblings ;P</span></span>Love foolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13770536068736582197noreply@blogger.com2