Part 5 ----- Some things are best left forgotten

Warning: This post is explicit (meaning its going to contain sex and that type of stuff) so don't say I didn't warn you!!!




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'Joonyyy please, just for 10 minutes, I need to see you I miss you' 3bdullah was begging her. When he said things like that, she just melted. She couldn't resist anything he asked. Still she hesitated, she knew that it was wrong, but she trusted him.

'Okay, meet me at the jame3ya in an hour'

Lulu quickly brushed through her already straightened hair and picked out a simple white knee length dress. She applied some light lipgloss and mascara, she rushed out the house with her phone in her hand. It took her 10 minutes to reach the jame3ya and she sat in her car, fidgeting nervously. She wasn't sure what to do, her heart was beating rapidly because she had never done anything like this before.

*Beep*

'Baby I'm next to you, come in my car.'


Lulu turned off the engine and taking a deep breath she opened the door and saw her 3boudy, she looked around nervously but finally got into his car. She was too embarassed to look at his face and just decided to look at her gold gladiator shoes and bite her thumb. She could feel him staring at her but he just sighed and started the car.

While they started to drive around ainlessly she finally got up the courage to look at his face, he smiled and immediately she felt relaxed. His hand was lying there near her, she reached for it and fited her hand into his. He started stroking the back of her hand and this made her shiver. Lulu couldn't imagine feeling this way ever again or with anyone else, she didn't feel that overwhelming guilt of being alone in a car with a guy anymore. It felt right at that moment, and thats all that mattered to her.

They just drove around in silence until he parked his car in a remote area and turned to face her. Slowly he raised his hands to her face and closed the space in between them. Lulu held her breath as she saw him coming closer and she closed her eyes. Slowly she felt his lips touch hers, it was a soft gentle kiss and she responded the same way. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck and she pulled herself closer. Slowly they kissed until she loosened her grip and backed away. She was out of breath but she had never felt happier. She finally opened her eyes to see him smiling. She leaned foward and pecked his lips then sat back against the seat, leaning on the window she sighed. He started the car again, keeping her hand in his the whole time.

3bdullah dropped Lulu a little outside the jame3ya so she had to walk back to her car. He wanted to follow her home to make sure she got there safe but he was already late to '3ada at his grandparents house, so he left in a hurry. As she was walking back to her car, suddenly a tinted black jeep pulled up beside her. The guy got out of the car and started to push her in. She barely undertstood what was happening and started to scream until he covered her mouth with his hand. Lulu felt like she was suffocating and tried fighting but it was useless, he was just too strong for her. He pushed her into the car and locked the doors. There was another man in the backseat holding her making sure that she couldn't get away or even scream for help. Lulu was terrified she didn't know what was happening. She just struggled with the man holding her until he started to hold her tighter which hurt her. The tears were running down her face and she just stayed limp and prayed and prayed for someone to help her.


Lulu didn't know where they were going she couldn't see outside. Inside her head she just kept praying for God to help her, she promised that she would never meet with 3bullah secretly again. She was so scared, this would be her punishment for lying to her parents and betraying her religion? Lulu knew she didn't deserve anything as bad as what she feared was going to happen to her. The car jerked to a stop and they were in the middle of nowhere with a tent flapping in the wind. Roughly the two men pushed her into the tent. She started to scream again, hoping that anyone would hear her but it was useless. They made her lie down on her back and Lulu knew what was about to happen now but couldn't do anything to stop it.

The man who sat on top of her was wearing a blue polo with black shorts, she couldn't look at his face as he roughly lifted up her dress and pulled her underwear down. She cried as he unzipped his pants, they were both laughing at her pain and laughing cruelly. He began to enter her and she cried out, it was hurting her and the more she begged for him to stop, the harder he pushed. Again and again he thurst into her, each thrust brought another wave of pain. He was exploring her body, reaching under her bra and grabbing her breasts. When she tried to push him away it only made him angry and he slapped her and pushed into her harder. He continued to beat her until she just gave up and closed her eyes hoping it would be over soon.

Suddenly a weight felt like it had been taken off of her and she was about to open her eyes until a heavier body replaced the weight. She could already feel his excitment, he was hard against her body and his lips found his way to hers. She felt disgusted, she could smell the cigarette on his breath and he forced her lips open, his tounge exploring the inside of her mouth. Lulu wanted to throw up she wanted to scream but she felt suffocated. Suddenly he entered her as well, he was even rougher pushing harder and harder against her. He began moaning until she felt something hot and sticky burst out of him. This more than anything frightened her, she didn't know what had just happened why this time felt strange. The man rolled off of her and let out a satisfied sigh.

They roughly picked her up and she felt so dizzy that she nearly fell, her dress was soaked with her own blood. The men started to whisper and one of them picked her up gently from under the legs and she leaned her head against his chest. This was the first sign of any compassion she recieved. Lulu was too tired to fight them any longer, her whole body was aching. Soon they were back at the jame3ya and she barely made it to her car, she laid in the backseat and cried herself to sleep.
















That was the condition her mother found her in a few hours later, she can still remember her mother's shocked face, the tears in her eyes. It happened nearly 3 months ago but it felt like just yesterday to her, she cried again. It had scarred her and she was afraid she would never heal. Lulu still loved 3bdullah with all her heart and never blamed him for what had happened, it had been the happiest day of her life the time she had spent with him. But the rest had just overwhelmed her. She couldn't tell him, she was so ashamed and afraid he wouldn't accept her after what had happened. She still remembered the way he smelt and how it felt when he had touched her and kissed her. So Lulu just decided to push her 3boudy away and figure out what was going to become of her. All she knew is now she had to go on living, not for herself but for the baby that she did not want but would never give up.

Part 4 ----- Dream as you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today

'I love you' he whispered over the phone, his voice low. She immediately stopped smiling and twisting her hair, sitting straight up in bed. She started chewing her thumb, Lulu always did that when she was nervous. She wasn't sure how to respond, she liked him of course. But did she love him? He was nicer than any of the other guys she had ever been with. Though she had only been with 3, none of them had worked out. But 3boud.. he was different. He made her feel like she was the most special person on earth.

He was still on the phone, she could feel him holding his breath waiting for a reply.
'I- uh- 3boudy...' was all she managed to stutter out. They had known eachother for more than 2 years, it had only turned into something more a few months ago.

'7abeebty its okay, you don't have to say it back I just wanted you to know how I feel' he said it so softly, so sweetly. It gave her butterflies and made her blush.

'Joony bss 5ala9 don't worry, now stop biting at your thumb, walla a7is one day your going to bite it all off' his tone had gone back to teasing just like before, the laughter was clear in his voice. Lulu immediately removed her thumb from her mouth.

'How did you know I was biting my thumb!'

'Because I made you nervous' his voice was very smug and he knew it. When she remained silent he continued in his teasing voice.

'I know you bite your thumb when your nervous, when your shocked your big beautiful eyes go all wide mashalla. When your confused you scrunch your nose up and squint you eyes. When your trying to be cute you start batting your eyes and play with your hair. When you find something really funny, the way you throw your head back and smile and giggle so innoncently. I know all these things about you joony thats how I know you were biting your thumb.'

There was only silence from her for another minute while she thought it over.

'I love you too' she stated clearly and without any doubts. What he had just said just proved it to her. She was not going to find anyone better, anyone who loved her more or anyone who so carefully watched she did. She loved him the only way she knew how, with her whole heart. She never did the 'I love yous' in any of her other relationships, there was no point. They are all flings out of curiousity. 3boud was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she knew it now for sure.

'So thats what it takes to make you love me huh? Note everything you do and recite it back to you?' His voice was jokingly but she could sense the excitment underneath it.

'Yeah it is, you should start writing a whole book on what I do and I'm yours forever'

'A7ibich joony'

'Amout feek 3boudy'












Lulu woke up with her words still ringing in her head and 3boud's voice. That was over 4 months ago. It was all just a dream of her memories, memories that just made her cry all over again. She missed her 3boud, she felt so lost without him.

Lulu reached for her phone and dialled his number. He picked up immediately and was silent. Lulu just cried and cried, listening to him breathing. He sighed deeply.

'Lulu you can't keep doing this okay? First you disappear for 3 months oo now you just call and cry? Next time don't call unless your actually willing to talk.' He snapped and the next thing she heard was the dial tone. She didn't blame him, he was so confused by all of this and he just wanted to help her. He was the only one who didn't stop calling after all the silence. Everyday he called once, the usual time he would call when he wanted to say goodnight.

Lulu walked to her mirror and lifted her shirt up, she turned sideways and experimented sucking her stomach in. There was definately a hint of a baby bump, there was no denying it. Gently, she poked her stomach, wondering if the baby could feel that. Putting her shirt back down she just sat on the floor cross-legged, thinking of what she could do. She had already thought about it, she hadn't discussed her plans with her mother. Lulu could not give up this baby, no matter the way it was concieved she could not do anything to something inside of her with a heartbeat.

Her mother walked in suddenly with tickets in her hand. Passports in the other hand. She waved them at Lulu, who just stared at her confused.

'Lulu 7abeebty, your father and I talked about your situation. We can't let you go through with this. We're going to america next week, where you can get rid of the... thing.' She spoked decisively with a firm edge, she was usually a gentle woman.

Lulu just stared at her, she could not believe her mother would say such things. The woman who raised her to always follow what she believed in? When she called her baby a thing.. how dare she call it a thing? Lulu got up suddenly furious.

'LA2!! I WON'T GO WITH YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MY BABY!! MY BABY IS NOT A THING!!!' She was so angry only an inch away from her mother, her hands were waving all over the place.

'LUJAYN! BSS 3AIB YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THIS! YOU HAVE NO JOB, YOUR STILL IN UNIVERSITY! HOW WOULD YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF?? YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY NOW! WHO WOULD WANT TO MARRY YOU THEN? NO ONE WOULD WANT A SINGLE MOTHER WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PROPER FUTURE' her mother was screaming in her face, Lulu had never seen her mother so angry.

'I've made up my mind. I will not do anything to this baby.' Lulu stood with her arms crossed, when suddenly her mother slapped her across the face. It was a strong, forceful slap and it stung Lulu's face. The blood went rushing to her cheek and she gasped. Her mother stormed out the room and slammed the door. Her mother had never hit her before.

Sinking down to the floor, she lay down exhausted. She had no one on her side and now she was to be an outcast from her own family. Slowly her eyes began to shut and she replayed the memory again, how this all happened...

So heres the thing...

Ellooo Elloooo all *innoncent face*

I know I've been a very bad blogger oo I've just started! Bss after starting the first few parts i realised it wasn't the smartest move to start right before my exams thats why I've been away. Bss i finished everything now and typing up the next part fa it will posted bil lail inshalla

Love you alll



Lovefool xx