Part 4 ----- Dream as you'll live forever, live as though you'll die today

'I love you' he whispered over the phone, his voice low. She immediately stopped smiling and twisting her hair, sitting straight up in bed. She started chewing her thumb, Lulu always did that when she was nervous. She wasn't sure how to respond, she liked him of course. But did she love him? He was nicer than any of the other guys she had ever been with. Though she had only been with 3, none of them had worked out. But 3boud.. he was different. He made her feel like she was the most special person on earth.

He was still on the phone, she could feel him holding his breath waiting for a reply.
'I- uh- 3boudy...' was all she managed to stutter out. They had known eachother for more than 2 years, it had only turned into something more a few months ago.

'7abeebty its okay, you don't have to say it back I just wanted you to know how I feel' he said it so softly, so sweetly. It gave her butterflies and made her blush.

'Joony bss 5ala9 don't worry, now stop biting at your thumb, walla a7is one day your going to bite it all off' his tone had gone back to teasing just like before, the laughter was clear in his voice. Lulu immediately removed her thumb from her mouth.

'How did you know I was biting my thumb!'

'Because I made you nervous' his voice was very smug and he knew it. When she remained silent he continued in his teasing voice.

'I know you bite your thumb when your nervous, when your shocked your big beautiful eyes go all wide mashalla. When your confused you scrunch your nose up and squint you eyes. When your trying to be cute you start batting your eyes and play with your hair. When you find something really funny, the way you throw your head back and smile and giggle so innoncently. I know all these things about you joony thats how I know you were biting your thumb.'

There was only silence from her for another minute while she thought it over.

'I love you too' she stated clearly and without any doubts. What he had just said just proved it to her. She was not going to find anyone better, anyone who loved her more or anyone who so carefully watched she did. She loved him the only way she knew how, with her whole heart. She never did the 'I love yous' in any of her other relationships, there was no point. They are all flings out of curiousity. 3boud was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and she knew it now for sure.

'So thats what it takes to make you love me huh? Note everything you do and recite it back to you?' His voice was jokingly but she could sense the excitment underneath it.

'Yeah it is, you should start writing a whole book on what I do and I'm yours forever'

'A7ibich joony'

'Amout feek 3boudy'












Lulu woke up with her words still ringing in her head and 3boud's voice. That was over 4 months ago. It was all just a dream of her memories, memories that just made her cry all over again. She missed her 3boud, she felt so lost without him.

Lulu reached for her phone and dialled his number. He picked up immediately and was silent. Lulu just cried and cried, listening to him breathing. He sighed deeply.

'Lulu you can't keep doing this okay? First you disappear for 3 months oo now you just call and cry? Next time don't call unless your actually willing to talk.' He snapped and the next thing she heard was the dial tone. She didn't blame him, he was so confused by all of this and he just wanted to help her. He was the only one who didn't stop calling after all the silence. Everyday he called once, the usual time he would call when he wanted to say goodnight.

Lulu walked to her mirror and lifted her shirt up, she turned sideways and experimented sucking her stomach in. There was definately a hint of a baby bump, there was no denying it. Gently, she poked her stomach, wondering if the baby could feel that. Putting her shirt back down she just sat on the floor cross-legged, thinking of what she could do. She had already thought about it, she hadn't discussed her plans with her mother. Lulu could not give up this baby, no matter the way it was concieved she could not do anything to something inside of her with a heartbeat.

Her mother walked in suddenly with tickets in her hand. Passports in the other hand. She waved them at Lulu, who just stared at her confused.

'Lulu 7abeebty, your father and I talked about your situation. We can't let you go through with this. We're going to america next week, where you can get rid of the... thing.' She spoked decisively with a firm edge, she was usually a gentle woman.

Lulu just stared at her, she could not believe her mother would say such things. The woman who raised her to always follow what she believed in? When she called her baby a thing.. how dare she call it a thing? Lulu got up suddenly furious.

'LA2!! I WON'T GO WITH YOU! I'M NOT GOING TO KILL MY BABY!! MY BABY IS NOT A THING!!!' She was so angry only an inch away from her mother, her hands were waving all over the place.

'LUJAYN! BSS 3AIB YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THIS! YOU HAVE NO JOB, YOUR STILL IN UNIVERSITY! HOW WOULD YOU SUPPORT YOURSELF?? YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY NOW! WHO WOULD WANT TO MARRY YOU THEN? NO ONE WOULD WANT A SINGLE MOTHER WHO WAS NEVER MARRIED! YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A PROPER FUTURE' her mother was screaming in her face, Lulu had never seen her mother so angry.

'I've made up my mind. I will not do anything to this baby.' Lulu stood with her arms crossed, when suddenly her mother slapped her across the face. It was a strong, forceful slap and it stung Lulu's face. The blood went rushing to her cheek and she gasped. Her mother stormed out the room and slammed the door. Her mother had never hit her before.

Sinking down to the floor, she lay down exhausted. She had no one on her side and now she was to be an outcast from her own family. Slowly her eyes began to shut and she replayed the memory again, how this all happened...