You don't have to call I won't pick up the phone this is the last straw, don't want to hurt anymore

Through the haze clouding my head there was a buzzing noise coming from the distance, I rolled over on the bed trying to ignore the ongoing buzzing. Finally I gave up and felt around in the dark my hand finding the cold metal of my mobile.

Me (voice really sleepy): Halooo?
Mr Man: Halaa2, I woke you up?
Me: Eeee
Mr Man: Asaf.. yalla go back to sleep
Me: Laa2 3adii I'm awake now anyways *yawns*
Mr Man: Okay, so how was your day galbii?
Me: Zaina.. oo intay?
Mr Man: Tamam
Mr Man: Inzain you told me that there was a book you wanted oo you couldn't find it anywhere so I ordered it for you last week ww it arrived today so I'll drop it off tomorow
Me: ....
Me: I told you about that book a MONTH ago
Mr Man: Eee, so?
Me: Laa2 nothing I'm just amazed you remembered!!
Mr Man: I Knew you really wanted it, its not a big deal
Me: It is, you found it for me when no one else could
Mr Man: Laa2 forget it, just something for you
Me: Your spoiling me [a]
Mr Man: You deserve it
Me: Hehe

We talked for a while longer, he was being sweet oo 5alas I already knew I was falling for him. It was like he was the perfect guy and it looked like he felt the same way about me bss he knew I wasn't ready for any type of relationship more than friendship.


Mr Man: Im gonna go find something to eat oo il call you back ba3d shway
Me: Eee okay
Mr Man: a7ibich wayid
Me: adrii
Mr Man: What I don't get an a7ibik?
Me: Laa2 you have to earn it darling
Mr Man: Ahaaa you'll see I'll earn your love someday, you won't be able to resist my charms
Me: Hehe I'd like to see that!
Mr Man: Eee you will


As we hung up the phone and I stared into the darkness, recalling our conversation which made me smile and blush into the pillow. I started to doze off again when the buzzing started again. Half asleep I answered without looking..


Me (smiling): ya 7iloo that was quick
Guy #2: ya 3umrii, what are you talking about?
Me: ...
Me: laaa2 I was waiting for Roora to call back
Guy #2: Ahhaaa... so how are you?? I miss you its been too long
Me: I'm fine, ee it has.

After nearly a month of silence, he decides to call me up out of the blue? It felt like the last month had never happened we talked like always and it was like everything bad had been erased.

Guy #2: 7abibti?
Me: Hmm?
Guy #2: a7ibich
Me: Awwww
Guy #2: Laa2 I LOVE YOU
ME: ...
Guy #2: I want to be with you
Me: No
Guy #2: Shino?
Me: You don't love me
Guy #2: I think I know my own feelings
Me: Laa2!! After a month of nothing you can't just tell me you love me and you want me, you can't do that!! Do you know how much it hurt when you just stopped talking to me? Ya3nii nearly 5 years of friendship mean nothing to you??!


I had burst, I could feel the tears burning in my eyes and my throat start to ache from holding it all back. I had to let it out, my mind was spinning in circles. I was gettin over Guy #2 and now he decides he wants me? I couldn't do it.


Guy #2: Laa2 of course they meant everything to me. 7ayatii I only stopped talking to you because I didn't want to ruin the friendship with my feelings getting in the way oo bss thats all and I decided to take a chance now. I don't want to be with anyone but you, you're all I want.

I started to choke on my own tears, it just didn't make any sense to me.. he LOVED me. Like I always loved him, like I always wished he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I thought I was done waiting for him, it didn't hurt so much anymore when I thought about him. I always secretly hoped we could fix our friendship and bring it back to the way it was. For the first week after he stopped talking to me I was heartbroken but I had moved on! What was he doing messing with my feelings again? I couldn't take him leaving me again. No matter what was between us now I will always love him maybe just as a friend, maybe more. I had always imagined him saying those things and dreamed of the millions of the way he would tell he would always be true to me. I was trying to find the right words from the millions of thoughts in my head to tell him... he was waiting. I had no idea what he was thinking and I wanted to know why he was doing this to me again.

I was torn a big part of me wanted to tell him NO, I wanted to hurt him the way that he hurt me so many times. But then there was the little voice inside my head saying: yes tell him YES. He was still waiting...





Then the phone beeped into my ear, I pulled away and stared













*Incoming call Mr Man*

True goodbyes are the ones never said or explained

Sorrry I haven't posted in a while bss exams are coming up oo iv been trying to study (trying being the key word)

I think it's officialy over with Guy #2 for good. I don't really know, after the last time he's distanced himself from me and he won't talk to me like he did before. I'm kind of glad that this is all over bss I'm also sad in a way I lost a really close friend..
Also I'm driving myself crazy =P adrii its stupid bss I can't help it. What was so wrong with me that he decided to stop?? Did he find someone else or was he just bored with me? I tried confronting him about this:

Me: Halaa2
Guy #2: hi
Me: How are you??
Guy #2: good.. u?
Me: How was ur day?
Guy #2: Good.. urs?
Me: Gooooood bss im really bored theres nothin to do ;(
Guy #2: Aww
Me: ...whats wrong?
Guy #2: nothing
Me: Then talk 3dil!!!
Guy #2: I am
Me: ya3nii ur acting like I'm annoying u
Guy #2: laa2
Me: Oh okay

Thats my confrontation... akeed it doesn't look like much but this how its been for the past week and its driving me nuts so I just give up and I'll try to get on without him.

Bss I really miss him.. I miss how he made me laugh, even how he made me cry sometimes cuz when he tried to make up for it he really made me happy. I miss our stupid conversations and the way that I could understand him and what he was thinking. I don't know what to make of this new Guy #2 its like someones come and replaced my Guy #2 with a stranger I don't know.

I'm not going to give up the friendship I just hope I don't push it too far that he just stops talking to me.

Well thats pretty much it for now.. I notice I haven't gotten any answers from my previous post about the long distance relationship stuff.. have I lost everyones interest? :(