And on it goes

So guess what? Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse.. they did. Guy #1 knows about me and Guy #2, he always knew. But now he wants in on it. So I tried it, I didn't want to hurt his feelings and all that but it just doesn't feel as right as it does with Guy #2.. with him I feel like its worth taking the risk and all the crap I put up with. So now I'm stuck and I don't know what to do, cuz I managed to distract Guy #1 and promise him later but I don't want to do anything later or every again. The thing is he's so sweet about it oo 7aram I adore him so much and I don't want to hurt him.

Guy #2 is a different story. He has someone and he loves her like crazy apparently and it makes me sick with jealousy whenever I see the two of them together and I drive myself crazy over him, thinking about the two of them. Bss I can't say anything and I wouldn't ever do that to her because she is a good friend of mine which makes it so much worse. The sick thing is I'm still continuing this thing behind her back and as bad as it sounds to admit it, I love having his attention no matter what way. Its so hard to get it any other way than that. I know, I know I'm an awful person and all that bss I'm crazy about the guy.. I can't help it and he doesn't make it any easier for me.

I have so many more things I want to say but can't right now as I have work ib morning oo my boss will kill me if I'm late again ;). Btw if theres anyone actually reading my posts could you let me know by leaving comments? I want to know I'm not just talkin to myself [a]. Thanks ;D