It started out innoncently enough.. he was in school with me and for 4 years we barely spoke two words to eachother but through a friend we soon became close.. Lets call him Guy #2 (I'll get to Guy #1 later on).
I trusted him, i told him everything and I grew to love him.. bss not as anything more than friends. He was a player and we both knew it and I promised myself never to become one of those girls that he played. I told him all my thoughts and he thought I was insane but accepted me anyways and that meant so much. I was never really close to any guys before, I considered him MY guy. You know? Not actually mine but MY guy bestfriend. He was smart, funny and really I could see why none of the girls could resist him, but we fought alot too. We both had bad tempers and it clashed at the best of times.
Onto Guy #1, he was almost like Guy #2 but I really fell hard for Guy #1. He always, always listened to my problems no matter how stupid they were and made me feel like he actually cared. Well Guy #2 always suspected my feelings for #1 and hinted at it but I would never admit it. Not that it matter anyways Guy #1 found out anyways and it didn't go so well for me. But I got over him eventually..
It was two summer's ago and I spent most of my nights talking to both my guys on msn, until Guy #2 started something, it changed both of us and I knew it was wrong but I didn't know how to stop it. I can't tell you what it is because it'll give me away but it made everything so complicated. Some days I can't stand the thought of it and other days I don't regret it for a second. I turned into one of the girls that fell for him.. bss not that way so much. It was more of a 'more than friends and less than anything else' relationship. Unfortunately Guy #2 really was a jerk when he tried to be and knew exactly what to do to get to me. He completely and utterly broke my heart and I spent most of my nights crying over it, thankfully I got to be away most of the summer and didn't go online as much. He stopped the thing he started and though I was greatful.. the way he did it hurt me so bad. Then he tried to go back to it, even though I was distant at first and he could see that he hurt me.. but he was still my guy #2 and I couldn't forget that.
I wish I didn't regret what I did because he made me laugh so much. But there was too much secrecy and sneaking around, hurting people we both loved for that. I let him carry on with what he started eventually.. and my life's been a series of messed up events and decisions I regret and mistakes I've made. But those are all other stories for another day..
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