The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves

I have been tormenting myself.. over and over again. Guy #1 has a girlfriend now.. but he never told me! I can't even explain how shocked oo sad I felt when I heard from someone else about him. Ya3nii i know its selfish bss its an unwritten rule between us, its always been that way we tell eachother kilshay no matter what.. even if we're in a fight we always help the other if they need us.

And he wouldn't tell me such an important thing?? I want to ask him bss im worried what he will think, wallah i don't like him anymore.

So is it so wrong of me to be insanely jealous of the girl he's with now?

'Layan'.. I was good friends with her, nearly her only girl friend as she prefered to hang out with guys bss she moved and now shes going to uni in US. Ana oo Layan don't talk anymore since she moved bss I need to find out from someone how this all happened oo I don't want to ask Guy #1, so I'm just sitting around making myself miserable. I get long distance relationships oo i think its romantic and all but isn't it hard? I wish it was much simpler bss its not.

I'm not jealous that I don't get to be with him.. its not that ya3nii i do love Guy #1, hes 7ayatii bss I don't want to be that way with him, or anyone else really. I just wish he told me himself not that I had to find it out from someone else. Ww i'm being selfish but I'm scared she'll take up more of his time and we won't be as close anymore. I'm not ready to let that happen no matter what.

So here's my question.. what do you think of long distance relationships? I mean personally I think its so sweet but I don't think I could ever be in one myself. I guess it would be just too hard oo I don't know the guy really has to be worth it.

I'm just hoping I'll figure a way to sneak it out of Guy #1 without having to ask him outright ww update on mr man!! He didn't get the job.

Bss that doesn't mean he hasn't kept in touch ;)

Fallin

I keep on fallin... in and out of love with you
Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue.
Sometimes I feel good, at times I feel used.
Lovin you darlin, makes me so confused

I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you
I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you

Oh Oh, I never felt this way
How do you give me so much pleasure, cause me so much pain?
Just when I think, I've taken more than would a fool...
I start fallin back in love with you.

I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you
I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you

I keep on fallin, in and out of love with you
I never loved someone the way that I'm lovin you

This is 'Fallin- Alicia Keys' i really like it right now and i guess it really describes how i feel about guy #2 so yeah

Mr Man

It was a good day. The water was hot in the shower oo i5tii didnt steal my shampoo for once, I was wearing my new silver flats and I looked pretty good if I do say so myself ;D I had work instead of uni that morning and when I got there everybody was really excited.. they were holding interviews cuz someone had just quit.
Then he walked in...
I knew him, of course I knew him. We used to go to school together but he was so much better then I remembered him. I could feel myself turning red and trying to hide from him. Akeed that didn't work, he came right upto my desk with that gorgeous smile of his and those deep brown eyes.. why had I never noticed this before? My heart was pounding as we made small talk, he was there for the interview. I couldn't go through this everyday! As soon as he walked into the office I was punching numbers into the mobile.

Me: Roora!! Roora!
Roora: haaa?
Me: HE'S HERE
Roora: Mino??
Me: Roora ya7mara! (whispers) Mr. Man
Roora: Mino??
Me: Remember he was in school with us? He was 7ILOOO oo i used to talk to him he was the sweetest thing ever bss you wanted to marry him and we fought over who he would marry??
Roora: AAAAHHH
Me: eeeeh adrii
Roora: AAAAHHHH
Me: Roorii shut up
Roora: Did he say anything to you?!
Me: He said I look great
Roora: YA intaay
Me: hehe

We talked about 10 more minutes, remembering old times and gossiping until Mr Man came out of the office and started walking towards my desk again.

Me: Roora he's coming here again.. call you back
Roora: ooooooo2
Me: ya7mara

We talked a little while longer and then exhanged phone numbers.. I didn't think he'd actually call me. Bss the phone rang that night and we talked and talked for 4 hours straight. I haven't talked that much in a looong time and the last time I felt this way about someone he broke my heart (Guy #2).. I'm in real danger for falling for this guy and I don't know if I can go through the hurt again.

Footprints

You walked into my heart

leaving footprints behind,

Making me feel special and warm

loved for and cared for.

Suddenly it was like all I had known was gone

all who I loved abandonded me,

My heart was like glass so fragile

and in a moment you shattered it.

In a moment everything was gone

scattered to the winds,

Just like our everlasting love

gone in an instant forever.

My mind goes over everything

I realise you never cared,

Knowing I must pay the price for my mistakes

I'm glad you made me realise what I had done.

My heart is on the mend

I have begun to rebuild my life,

It will never be the same but

now I know to be careful.

When someone walks into my heart

leaving footprints behind,

I will make sure they are the ones who will stay forever.

A poem by yours truly.. hope you enjoy it. And I'll be back soon with more stories ;D

Not again..

I feel really lost and alone right now.. and I can't tell anyone whats wrong and its all killing me inside. I don't have enough energy to say anything and I know its been too long since I have posted anythin bss i can't right now..

Guy #2 did it again.. he used me and as soon as I feel like we're gettin somewhere bss 5alas hes had his fun oo ana? Who cares? I'm nothing apparently and it all SUCKS.

Back later when I don't feel like im falling down a never ending tunnel of misery